Dear family and friends,
Moscow was a blur. Three days of nothing but meetings. My flight was
six hours late so I was one-half a day off for the entire stay. I was
able to make solid contacts with important ophthalmologists and meet
with one of the major administrative clerics with the religious
organization for which I'm doing volunteer work. I met one lovely woman,
but quite by accident. I did not have time to meet anyone I had made
contact with prior to arrival. The best laid plans of mice and men...
There are four purposes to this trip: Determine if something like
CRSQA's laser eye surgeon certification could work in the former Soviet
Union. Business consulting for an Eastern philosophy organization. Meet
interesting women to determine if there might be enough of a connection
to build a relationship. Have some fun. I'm repeating this process in
Moscow, Minsk, Kiev, and Odessa.
My driver and translator in Moscow each performed remarkably. I
cannot possibly describe driving in Moscow. The closest would be those
old movies from the 20's and 30's where streetcars, trucks, taxis,
private cars, and people are going every which way at a high rate of
speed. Street signs are considered suggestions. Sergey did a great job.
We had a close call only once, and not his fault. My translator Katia
was able to keep up with not only normal conversations but with the
technical aspects of both medical and religious terms. The only downside
was my flat in Moscow. Oh, it was very nice and clean but it is the flat
of an aesthetic devotee. That translates into no bed. I slept on the
floor. Well, at night I laid down on the floor but there was little
sleeping. Also, no running hot water. The overnight train from Moscow to
Minsk was a welcome relief. The train system here is excellent and the
bunk was quite comfortable. Of course, after three nights of a floor for
a mattress, anything would have been welcomed.
I hosted a dinner with the Kulikov family at a Moscow restaurant.
This included the parents, uncle, and cousin of Larisa's family. The
relationship with Larisa did not work out and I was not able to become a
son-in-law, so I asked if they would adopt me as a son, cousin, and
nephew! In nearly every sense, they have done just that. The only cloud
over the evening was that Larisa and Larisa's daughter Dasha could not
attend. Larisa was engaged with work and the trip would have been
difficult for Dasha. Although Dasha not being at the dinner was a
disappointment, the evening was wonderful. The family made it abundantly
clear that they want to remain my friends no matter what. Larisa's
greatest asset is her family. I will get to see Dasha before I depart. I
am traveling to her grandparent's home Sunday to spend the day with
them.
I have met several women with quite varied results. One so shy she
almost could not breathe. One there was almost no connection between us.
Another is the sweetest person on the face of the Earth, but maybe not
otherwise a good match. One has attained a social and economic status
here that would not be matched at home. One I very much like, but (of
course) just don't know. None have looked anything like their
photographs. Some better; some not better. The strangest was the one
where there did not seem to be much connection between us during dinner,
yet at the end of the night she wanted to stay with me. I still don't
know why - even in Russia I don't attain Robert Redford status. Yes, I
am being very careful in that regard. Very careful.
I have quickly realized that I will not know if I have found the
right one, but it is obvious when I have met the wrong one.
I have the same flat in Minsk that I had during my February 2001 trip
to meet Larisa. Rather than a
succession of restaurants, I have invited women interested in meeting me
to the flat for lunch or dinner. It is more comfortable, less expensive,
and I can show off my cooking abilities. My translator adds the
chaperone component so everyone feels safe.
I am still meeting people for the first time and am just now
scheduling second meetings with a few. Hopefully more will be known the
second time around. We are all a bit out of sorts with the first
meeting. The real relationship(s) will build via telephone and email
after I return home.
My Minsk translator and guide Oksana says I seem calm as a lake at sunrise, but truthfully I'm
little more that controlled emotional chaos underneath. For all my
desire to keep this trip to the level of meeting and greeting, I keep
finding my focus distracted toward the "Are You The One"
mentality. The greatest surprise is Oksana. She seems to be everything I
would want in a partner, except she is 22. Damn my years. I can now
understand how those 40something guys will marry 20something women - if
she was something like Oksana. She has been a great mirror and confidant
for me, very concerned and kind. I am fortunate to have her assisting me
for both personal and professional reasons. She also seems to have a
very accurate intuition regarding the women we have met. Her support
helps me keep centered and balanced. It is both fortunate and
unfortunate that the years and circumstances separate us. Fortunate that
I have an advocate and protector here. Unfortunate that my search
continues.
I am sweating getting asked by the Belarus Militia for my visa. I
don't have one. Yes, I am in the former Soviet Union without proper
documents. It was my understanding that I could attain one without
difficulty here, but have found that I could do this only if I flew in
at the main airport. I entered via train. Now I have to take the
overnight train to Moscow to get a visa for Belarus and return. I keep
bribe money with me at all times, just in case.
This trip is very, very different than the first. In fact, it is
almost exactly the opposite of the first trip. Last time I contacted one
woman. This time, several. Last time I became acquainted over a long
period of phone calls and letters then met. This time we are just making
initial contact then meeting. Last time I expected a conclusion to the
courtship. This time I hope for a beginning. Last time I was sure of
what I'd find. This time I have not a clue. An advantage is that I'm not
scared to death this time around. I also have the support system I
needed the first time.
The pace, however, is too fast. I did not know how many people would
respond to my letters and I sent too many. Of course, there was no way
for me to know who I should exclude and who I should include. I really
don't like this process very much. It is too impersonal and clinical.
This reminds me of the old joke about laws and sausages. If you like
them, you don't want to watch them being made. The potential to
objectify and marginalize nice and sincere people is dangerously great.
I am doing my best to be respectful of the situation and considerate of
the feelings of the people I meet...and respectful of myself.
Attached is a photo of my Russian family. From left to right are
Valentina (Valery's wife), Vladimir (Larisa's father), Raisa (Larisa's
mother), Valery (Larisa's uncle and Vladimir's brother), myself, Lena
(Igor's wife), Igor (Larisa's cousin and Valery/Valentina's son), and
Constantine (Larisa's brother).
Glenn
