Dear Family & Friends,
What a difference an attitude makes.
My Kiev stay was only a business trip. I did not plan to meet anyone
except ophthalmologists and administrative clerics for ISKCON. As it
turns out, all of the temple presidents in all of Ukraine were going to
be in Kiev for a previously arranged meeting, so I extended my Kiev stay
a day and completed all of my volunteer work with this one stop.
Although business was positive, the experience could have been better.
My translator and guide, Rimma, seemed to suffer from the Russian
Attitude Disease (RAD). Everything is bad. Everyone is corrupt. The only
people who have money are Mafia. Americans are selfish and won't let
Ukrainians immigrate. The streets are falling apart. People are rude.
Everyone is insincere. I swear, this woman could depress a hyena. Yes,
she has RAD bad and is attempting to spread it everywhere she goes. I've
never met someone who could find the bad side to anything and
everything. Plus, she does it in two languages! Rimma has a vast
knowledge of the history of Kiev, so I kept moving the conversation to
one of the nearby buildings or monuments. Thankfully, Kiev was only a
three day stay.
The train trip from Kiev to Odessa was an exact opposite of my Kiev
experience with Rimma. I can't say enough good things about the train
system here. A private luxury compartment, as I reserved, is inexpensive
even by Russian standards. Service is excellent and friendly. I
understand why Russians travel so much. It is not the destination that
is enticing, it is the journey in a clean, comfortable, and friendly
environment.
I'm sure you have noticed that I have not written of the women I
meet. I will make an exception with Victoria.
While at the Kiev station, the train is quite hot due to no power for
air conditioning or air movement through the carriages. The few open
windows in the narrow hallways are prime space, but I was still able to
find room at the window where a lovely woman was also attempting to
escape the heat and humidity of Ukraine in July. In Russian I asked if
she spoke English and she said, "Yes, a little." I have found
that Russians who could teach English linguistics always say they speak
English "a little".
In our conversation I found that Victoria is a training manager for
Avon Cosmetics of Ukraine and was traveling to Odessa to meet with her staff and
assist in a sales program. Something I appreciate about being a
foreigner is that anyone who speaks my language automatically becomes a
friend. As Victoria and I chatted in English, a Brit from Liverpool
heard us and joined in the conversation. Everywhere I go the common bond
of a foreign language binds strangers instantly. In restaurants, shops,
or on the street, if you hear English you are almost obliged to
introduce yourself.
As the train pulled away from the station with a loud whistle (yes, a
real whistle, not a horn) I took my leave of Victoria and made a mental
note of the number of her compartment.
When I traveled to Russia in February I found that of all the gifts I
gave, the one that was universally enjoyed was my CD mix of popular
music. Before I departed for this trip I made several copies of Mix One
and Mix Two, both soft rock. I returned to Victoria's compartment,
excused myself for interrupting her conversation with her compartment
mate, and offered her a gift of the CDs. I explained that they were some
of my favorite music and I hoped she might enjoy them. I also mentioned
that I was in compartment 15 and, unlike her compartment, it was private
and air conditioned. If she would like to visit, I would be honored.
Cast your bread upon the waters.
About 30 minutes after settling in to my compartment, Victoria was at
my doorway. We sat on the comfortable sofa/bed and I retrieved my album
of photographs from my bag. Several months ago I arranged my favorite
photographs in a portfolio complete with captions. I did not intend it
at the time, but this photographic essay of my life has been invaluable
here. Not only are the photos able to visually depict my American life,
but many Russians can read English better than they speak English. As we looked
at my family photos I learned that Victoria is divorced and has a nine
year old son. She also is quite lovely...I think.
The lights in the overnight trains are deliberately dimmed. Even with
every light in my compartment on, I could still not quite see if here
eyes are blue or gray. Whatever they are, the are set off by her high
cheek bones and dark short hair that gives her a sportive appearance. I
would guess that Victoria is in her early 30's. We finished the photo
album and talked a bit about the differences between our cultures. We
did not talk of the purposes of my Russian journey. After providing me
her business card and writing her mobile phone number on the back, I
asked if she may be free during her short stay in Odessa. She said yes
and I promised to telephone her upon arrival at my rented flat.
Abruptly she said it was time for her to go to bed and made her exit.
I've learned to not read anything into this abrupt change in demeanor or
language. If this was an American woman I would have assumed that
something was wrong, that I had offended. No, this is just one of the
many little things I've learned about Russian culture. There are seldom
smooth exits, they are abrupt and definitive.
The following morning Victoria had departed before I gathered my bags
on the platform. The telephone in my flat was not able to dial
Victoria's Kiev mobile phone number. It is not unusual for someone to
not have a telephone or have a phone that is not connected to
international lines. All over every Russian city you will find telephone
exchanges where you provide an operator the number you want to call,
they dial it, then connect you to a phone in a private booth for you to
chat. After the conversation you pay for the cost of the call plus a
small fee for the extra service. It took me a while but I finally was
able to find a telephone exchange and contact Victoria. She was on a
street and the quality of the call was dreadful. As I attempted to see
if we could make arrangements for dinner that night, it became evident
that with a poor connection and limited language skills, we were not
going to get the message across. I told her I would call later with a
translator.
I had not intended to hire a translator because my bilingual
friend Irina lives in Odessa, however Irina has a new job as a
translator and was working. I checked with the Internet agency I have
been using and found someone who spoke excellent English. We arranged
for her to meet me at my flat for guided shopping and to translate a
call to Victoria.
We tried the phone number for Victoria several times through he
telephone exchange, but were not able to get through. A missed
opportunity, as Victoria had told me she departs Odessa at 7:00am the
next morning. I decided to attempt to telephone or email Victoria the
following day at her home.
To my surprise I received an email from Victoria the next morning
describing in her broken English how much she enjoyed our short
conversation and how disappointed she was that we had missed each other
while she was in Odessa. The connection was again made.
I spent weeks of preparation, sent scores of letters, evaluated
profiles, scheduled meetings, and one of the most interesting women I
meet is by chance. As my dear friend Susan told me before I left, "Get out of the
way and let the universe provide."
I have said many times that accomplishing anything in Russia takes
more time, effort, and people than necessary. Add to that language
limitations and a small knowledge of the city and even a simple dinner
meeting becomes a task of monumental proportions. What is really odd is
that no one seems to notice or care. Everyone is so accustomed to such
inefficiency and difficulty that it is not regarded as a problem. They
get used to it. Well, you can get used to hemorrhoids too, but that does
not mean you want to.
For someone as impatient as me, Russia has been a lesson in humility.
Needing to rely on others for even simple tasks drops the ego a notch or
two. It would be easy to allow frustration and inconvenience to drive
you nuts, but I've learned to go with the flow. Heck, I've even learned
how to get by with the water being turned off from 1-4 every day and
night. It is amazing what you can become accustomed to.
BTW, Victoria and I are attempting to make arrangements to meet
Sunday here in Odessa.
Glenn
Attached is a photo of the Tuesday Afternoon Social Club of Lower
Kiev.
